I Heart Yoga Pants

If they're on my husband.  Yowza!

Have you ever heard of something called Acro Yoga?  Yeah, me neither.  And I’m a stinkin’ personal trainer.  I’m supposed to be in the know about all things health and fitness related, right?  Well, need I remind you, folks:  I’m lazy!  LAAAAYYYYYYZEEEEEE.  By personal trainer standards, anyway.  But I’m trying. 

And here’s some evidence:

 

Dang!  I forgot to point my toes.

Check it OUT!

This is something I never envisioned myself doing.  Ever.  Acro Yoga is partner-based yoga and blends elements of acrobatics and yoga.  I mean, it’s been slow-going for me just with “regular” yoga, but this…. This was – dare I say – mind-opening.  Perspective-shifting.  Life-altering.  For more reasons than one. 

Even my tuff hubby wasn't too macho to don my (yes MINE!) yoga pants and try!

I think I’ve been reluctant to undertake yoga because as a tall, gangly, inflexible person, I just didn’t think it would go well for me.  I do possess enough agility and coordination to enjoy many athletic activities but I really have stuck to traditional western concepts of sports, stretching and strength training most of my life.

When my exposure to the world of fitness expanded, I did give yoga a try.  I was cool with it, but still mostly dismissed it as “not really my thang, y’know.”  But over this past year, I’ve had some experiences that have helped me open my stiff, muscle-bound (ha-ha) arms to embrace the notion of making yoga a bigger part of my healthy lifestyle. 

This picture is proof that, with the right top, even A-cups can have cleavage!

And I consider this latest Acro Yoga session a game-changer.  I seriously was flying, people.  Then after an exhilarating flight, I plunged into the undulating waves of the ocean.  The weirdness of it all was quickly replaced by the amazement of the other-worldly sensations I was experiencing.  My “base” who was the person supporting me as I acted as “flyer,” told me to close my eyes at certain times and I truly was transported into a different realm. 

Way cool.  Way, way cool.

Joe never had to remind Tiff to relax like he did me.

I don’t know that this boot-camp lovin’, heavy bag hittin’ former collegiate track star (again, ha-ha) will ever become a yogini but I just might be ready to upgrade my relationship with yoga from “acquaintance” to “friend.”  Perhaps with time, it will turn into my “significant other” fitness activity.

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you Tiffany and Joe.  This was an experience I will never forget.

 

A Happy-ish Runner

So there I was this morning.  Out ruining a perfectly gorgeous Las Vegas spring day with a 5 mile run. 



See, I AM a happy runner!

Now, I do like running.  I've done it and enjoyed it for many years.  But this morning I was feeling it.  I was feeling it in a haven't-done-this-for-a-while-and-I-partied-too-hard-with-my-sisters-this-weekend kind of way.

I had to tell myself that I really was doing a good thing as I plodded along with little enthusiasm at a slower pace than usual.  Then I looked up and saw her:  a fellow pavement pounder who looked about as haggard as I felt.  Upon approximating ourselves within about 10 feet, I did the five-finger spread which serves as both a wordless greeting and a gesture of sympathy and encouragement that I frequently offer to others who are also on the masochistic yet noble quest for better health.

I don't always get a response from other folks and I'm OK with that.  But I have to confess that I'm quite pleased when I do.  I actually wasn't expecting any acknowledgement from this lady (she looked like the endorphins hadn't quite kicked in just yet) but as soon as I smiled and waved, she immediately reciprocated with her own two-finger salute and a bright grin which reminded me of the sun breaking through the clouds. 

That was just what I needed.  Her genuine smile made my own spread a little wider and added a bit more spring to my step.  It made me happy to see a fellow warrior battling so valiantly in the war over Lazy. 

One small skirmish at a time, we're taking Lazy down!!!

I Am One Tough Mudder Fudder!

We be tuff!

Hey, with the team name, “Fuddmudders,” I can’t not make that joke.

So, how would I describe the Tough Mudder experience?  By stating the obvious:  It was tough and it was muddy.  They definitely named it right.  Never before have I been more deserving of a beer!  Okay, okay, I didn’t drink it but I could’ve used a good buzz after that experience!

The pre-race wall that separates the mice
from the mudders!

Here are the hard facts for my Las Vegas Tough Mudder 2012:

• 11 miles
• 20 obstacles
• 5 team members (4 boys, 1 girl)
• Total time:  3 hours, 50 minutes (they don’t time you, but I had my stopwatch going)

My experience could be summed-up (but not limited to) these four words:  crazy, awesome, torturous and exhilarating.  Read on....

First of all, they make you climb a stinkin’ 15-ft. wall to even get to the starting line.  It was like they were telling you: “If you can’t even handle getting over this wall, just turn around and go home, loser.”  I would’ve been so ticked if I’d gotten injured on that thing before the race even started!  But it was a good taste of what was to come.

Jammin' through some logs.  Grrrrrr.

The first 5-6 miles had more running than obstacles.  It’s the 2^nd half where they really hammer you with a heavy concentration of challenges, when you’re most tired and depleted of energy!  It was interesting to see all the different shapes and sizes of people, which goes to show that just about anybody can do this, but I was certainly glad I had taken the time and effort to put some mudder-specific training into the months preceding the event.  My team was usually running between the obstacles whereas most others were walking – especially toward the end.

What I loved best about the Tough Mudder is the emphasis on teamwork.  I had great teammates that expended a lot of their precious energy in helping to haul my arse up and over several of the obstacles.  I couldn’t have done it without them.  Even complete strangers came to my aid several times and the entire atmosphere was totally charged with enthusiasm and encouragement.

Some memorable moments:

Did I mention there was lots of mud?

Artic Enema obstacle:  they fill a huge dumpster with ice, ice, ice-cold water and make you dive under a wall to get to the other side.  Holy cannoli.  I didn’t know hypothermia could set in so quickly.  I was almost too paralyzed to hoist myself back out of the water. None of us could feel our bodies for at least a quarter mile afterwards.  We could’ve been running on bloody stumps for all we knew.

Walk The Plank obstacle:  this requires jumping off a 15-foot platform into water.  This was the obstacle that I was fearing most.  I’m not a fan of heights and I actually did force myself to do some cliff jumping this summer to prepare for this obstacle, which I am soooooo glad I did.  However, at the top of the plank I still totally froze for several seconds.  Thank goodness my teammate Brady told me to stop thinking and just jump.  Which I did.  And I lived!

Real Tough Mudders plug their noses.

 

 

The albino thong dude:  there were definitely some fun outfits and accessories that people had on.  Many tutus, some superheroes, plenty of funky socks and t-shirts.  But the guy that stole the show was the albino dude wearing a white thong.  The sight of his alabaster skin and his surprisingly mud-resistant white banana hammock was quite a shock after gazing at mostly brown mud for miles and miles.  Unfortunately for all of us, this guy was NOT Chippendale’s material!  I really hope he was wearing sunscreen.

The cold water:  I already mentioned the heart-stopping Arctic Enema, but I was also surprised at how cold they kept all the other water obstacles.  They had us trudge through endless mud trenches with water depths anywhere from thigh to chest-high.  We also had several deep water swims, some requiring diving under barrels and pulling ourselves along a cable.  This is all while fully dressed with sneakers, just to remind you.  But what got me was how cold the water was, especially considering that the weather was fairly warm – probably in the 90s somewhere.  In smaller doses, the coldness was refreshing but the longer swims were definitely energy-sapping.  Even the lifeguards were shivering in their wetsuits!

A nano-second after this picture,
I was in the water.

Why I will do the Tough Mudder again:  I can’t say with enthusiasm that I want to repeat all of the events I’ve been involved in:  The Ragnar Relay – not if I can avoid it.  Half marathon – maybe, but I’m in no hurry.  Marathon – I haven’t done one yet but if/when I do, it’ll probably only be once.  The Tough Mudder, however, I will repeat.  First, it was FUN!  It really did make me feel tough and accomplished and like I can take on (almost) anything!  It was so much more interesting than simply running mile after mile with little else going on.  Also, I’m unsatisfied with my performance on a few of the obstacles – namely, the monkey bars, hanging rings and Mt. Everest – so I want to improve my grip and upper body strength to do better next time.

The Tough Mudder might not be everyone’s cup o’tea, but it is definitely right up my alley.  I am so thankful for the healthy body that I have right now and I figure, why not test it every now and then.  Stuff like this is a great way to realize how amazing I can be… yet it’s also a humbling reminder that I’m not invincible, either!

I'll spare you any pictures of my bruised and swollen knees and elbows.  Let's just say I won't be wearing any mini-skirts this week.

 

Now off to take a terapeutic mineral mud bath!

Done and dirty!

Emergency Neck Pain Blog Post!!!

I am declaring a cervical state of emergency!

All those who have suffered... are suffering... or will be suffering (hence, everyone) from neck pain of any kind must read this post!!!

Lately there has been an astonishing onslaught of neck problems amongst my family and friends.  Trust me, I know first-hand – thanks to my 2011 Neck Incident – just how heinous serious neck pain can be.

In response, I’ve been sending all my cervical sufferers a link to an old blog post in which I demonstrate the best neck stretch in the world, but I now see the need to update that demo and add a few more therapeutic techniques that have rocked my world.  It’s been over a year and I have yet to have another neck attack of such severity… and I credit these 3 exercises/stretches with keeping it that way.

Beach ball boon*.  And you thought taking a beach ball to a high school graduation was being creative! This is a great one for when the pain is so intense you can hardly move it in any direction.  The barely inflated beach ball positions and supports the head in a way to allow for movement not otherwise possible with severe neck impairment.

Start by barely inflating a beach ball with just enough air to keep your head from
touching the ground when you lay back on it.

 

Slowly turn your head to one side just until you reach the point of increased pain/tingling.

Then the other side, of course.  You might not be able to get much movement at first, but
you will improve over time.

Then tilt one ear toward your shoulder...

And to the other side.
 

Occipital release*.  It surprised me how effective the occipital release technique was in improving my neck pain.  Position two tennis balls at the base of your skull where it meets the top of your neck and try to relax.  Usually in the first moments, this KILLS me, but a few minutes into it, I start to relax and the tension in my neck decreases considerably.  Maintain position for about 10 minutes or so.

Start with a rolled-up towel and a couple of tennis balls in a sock...

Lay back so the tennis balls are on the sweet spot.  You may need to adjust the towel height accordingly.

Try to relax for a good ten minutes or so. Let the tension just slip away...

 

Smelly armpit stretch.  And, finally, the best neck stretch in the entire history of neck stretching.  I do this almost daily and it has been a life-saver for me.  I do not over-exaggerate when I say this stretch could likely bring about world peace if everyone would just spend, like, 2 minutes doing this every day.

Start by angling your nose toward your armpit as though trying to take a big whiff.
This is how my physical therapist described it. He said it would be memorable this way.

Slowly start to look away and forward while keeping your ear close to your shoulder.

Finally, end up looking completely forward in a side bend with ear as close to
shoulder as flexibility allows.
 

 

Neck pain to any extent is nothing to take lightly!  I discovered the hard way that a person can pay dearly for participating in neck neglect.  I haven’t found it necessary to do the beach ball exercise since the incident but the other two, along with a doorway chest stretch, I do regularly and it’s always the best 5 minutes of my day.

*I have to thank my wonderful friend who, while possessing political views that are completely upside-down and backwards (sorry, P - I couldn't resist... it's that time of year!), has magic hands and acquainted me with the first two techniques... along with many other helpful treatments over the years!  Everyone needs to have a physical therapist as a friend!  Now if I could just buddy up with a plastic surgeon...

Oh, and read the disclaimer at the very bottom of this blog page, would ya.

Whaaa'SUP

The cool people know that SUP stands for Stand-Up Paddleboarding.  And the extra cool people have either tried it or are going to try it… soon!

I have now tried SUP twice and consider myself hooked.  This is absolutely going to be an annual summer activity.

I, personally, love activities on the water that don’t involve actual swimming (Allison Schmitt I am not!).  For me, being near or on the water is both invigorating yet calming at the same time.  That’s exactly how I would describe the SUP experience:  stimulating yet soothing; energizing yet lullifying; exhilarating yet pacifying.

In a word (or four)… really, way COOL, dude.

K and I tried SUP for the first time back in May and it was nice that we were kid-less because it was new to us and we could set our own pace; do our own thang, y’know.  But, it is definitely a family-friendly activity.  We took the girls this second time and also saw several kids out on paddleboards with their parents.  The winner was the dad with 4 kids on one board!

I’m convinced my girls will love it, too, once they can get over the idea of swimming with the big carp in the lake.  R FREAKED out at the sight of them and that kinda put a damper on their SUP experience.  We forced them to paddle around for some pics but K had to appease them by renting a paddle boat, which they ended up totally loving.

I left K with the crybabies and caught up with a couple of my girlfriends that had zipped by us earlier and we spent the next hour just paddling and cruising and periodically jumping into the water to cool off.  It was just awesome. 

I found that I liked doing a combination of some standing and some kneeling and have a feeling that I’ll get a little more confident and adventurous each time I go.  I’m even planning on trying the yoga/Pilates-on-the-water class they have some day!  I didn’t have time to this outing. 

 I love how it is a sport that is accessible to pretty much everyone.  Old, young, fit, flabby.  You can dig in deep and get a great workout out of it or just piddle-paddle and cruise around.

Some suggestions I have from my perspective:  If you can avoid paying for a lesson, do so.  This was on a very calm lake and all they told us for the 30-second “lesson” is, basically, face your paddle this way, switch sides about every 3 strokes and keep your leash on at all times.  Hmmm.  All things I figured out on my own within minutes the first time we went out. 

Also, wear a hat, sunscreen and definitely take water with you.  And take a waterproof camera, too, because EVERYONE looks cool on a paddleboard!

Nobody should die without having first tried this!

 

Post-Workout Recovery Snack... Lazy Trainer Style!

What in the world is that?! you may ask.

That, my friends, is the Lazy Personal Trainer's version of some all-important post-workout recovery grub.  After finishing 30 minutes of an intense cardio circuit I made sure to nourish my body with some right proper nutrition. 

Unless you've been living under a rock, you should know that you're supposed to refuel within 15 to 45 minutes after you exercise in order for your body to lose more fat and build more muscle.

And you should further be aware that it's recommended that that post-recovery snack or meal should consist of a 2:1 ratio of carbs to protein after a strength workout and a 4:1 ratio after endurance exercise.

So, do you think  a 1/2 cup of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream fits the bill? 

Well, check this out... I sprinkled a tablespoon of ground flaxseed meal to make it come a little closer!  Hmmm, curiously the fat component is not mentioned in the aforementioned nutrient ratio guidelines.

Hey, I'm trying to overcome Lazy, folks!  I have been known to polish off an entire pint of that stuff in order to refuel my exertion from clicking the remote with my thumb.  So this can be considered an improvement!

Next time.... TWO tablespoons of flaxseed!  I wonder if the peanut butter cup flavor has more protein in it....

I Am a Sponsored, Competitive Athlete!

I guess I should complete that thought.  I am a sponsored, competitive athlete… in my own little magical world.  And as crazy as it makes me sound, it also makes me overcome Lazy.

In fact, I had a biking competition on Saturday.  My first rival was easily passed as he was having trouble clipping in or something.  Yeah, having clips (I don’t) are supposed to help you bike better and faster, blah, blah, blah.  Well, they certainly weren’t helping him!  Hahahaha, sucka!

I didn’t encounter my second and more serious adversary until I’d turned around and was heading back.  She and I both had pulled out onto the main road from the same turn-out at almost the same time with her being about 25 meters ahead of me.  We were on a very slight decline before we were to hit the gradual incline which leads into a serious hill.  It was evident that I was taller and heavier than she was, so I knew I had to make the most of my momentum advantage while I could before the climb turned it into my disadvantage. 

I zipped by her and almost uttered, “see you on the hill,” but decided to save my energy.  It did me no good.  She smoothly passed me a few minutes later and this was before we’d even started the major hill ascent! 

Oh well, as I was bad-mouthing the basic laws of physics (curse you, second law of motion!) – not to mention her obvious superior physical fitness - I consoled myself by remembering that my abundant height does has its advantages in certain situations.  Like at the grocery store.  Sometimes people will ask for my help in reaching something on the top shelf.  I’m always happy to comply…. Although sometimes, I admit, I have a little fun with them when I innocently ask them over and over, “This one? Oh, this one?  So, this one, then?  No?”

In my competition today, my plan was to keep my new frenemy within my sights up the hill and then let my heavy duty frame (body and bike) overcome the petite waif as she ineffectively pedaled her skinny little tires. 

Well, it didn’t quite play out that way.  She kept her speedier pace consistent enough to stretch the distance between us to a good 150 meters or so.  Hmmph.

But I’ll tell you what, I worked notably harder because of this imaginary contest I had going on in my head.  So, I thank you, Anonymous Biker Chick.  You had no idea this major rivalry was happening on the road behind you, but I was waging a full-on war!  And, as a result, I got a killer workout because of it.

Anyway, I got the last laugh as we came back into town.  It didn’t take me long at all to finally catch up to her and pass her like she was standing still… because she was.  She’d stopped at a red light to go straight and I barely yielded as I cruised by her to turn right.

Yeah, baby.  How do you like them apples?!  Eat my dust!!!

That grand finale kept me smiling all the way home!

OVERCOME LAZY!