I Am a Sponsored, Competitive Athlete!

I guess I should complete that thought.  I am a sponsored, competitive athlete… in my own little magical world.  And as crazy as it makes me sound, it also makes me overcome Lazy.

In fact, I had a biking competition on Saturday.  My first rival was easily passed as he was having trouble clipping in or something.  Yeah, having clips (I don’t) are supposed to help you bike better and faster, blah, blah, blah.  Well, they certainly weren’t helping him!  Hahahaha, sucka!

I didn’t encounter my second and more serious adversary until I’d turned around and was heading back.  She and I both had pulled out onto the main road from the same turn-out at almost the same time with her being about 25 meters ahead of me.  We were on a very slight decline before we were to hit the gradual incline which leads into a serious hill.  It was evident that I was taller and heavier than she was, so I knew I had to make the most of my momentum advantage while I could before the climb turned it into my disadvantage. 

I zipped by her and almost uttered, “see you on the hill,” but decided to save my energy.  It did me no good.  She smoothly passed me a few minutes later and this was before we’d even started the major hill ascent! 

Oh well, as I was bad-mouthing the basic laws of physics (curse you, second law of motion!) – not to mention her obvious superior physical fitness - I consoled myself by remembering that my abundant height does has its advantages in certain situations.  Like at the grocery store.  Sometimes people will ask for my help in reaching something on the top shelf.  I’m always happy to comply…. Although sometimes, I admit, I have a little fun with them when I innocently ask them over and over, “This one? Oh, this one?  So, this one, then?  No?”

In my competition today, my plan was to keep my new frenemy within my sights up the hill and then let my heavy duty frame (body and bike) overcome the petite waif as she ineffectively pedaled her skinny little tires. 

Well, it didn’t quite play out that way.  She kept her speedier pace consistent enough to stretch the distance between us to a good 150 meters or so.  Hmmph.

But I’ll tell you what, I worked notably harder because of this imaginary contest I had going on in my head.  So, I thank you, Anonymous Biker Chick.  You had no idea this major rivalry was happening on the road behind you, but I was waging a full-on war!  And, as a result, I got a killer workout because of it.

Anyway, I got the last laugh as we came back into town.  It didn’t take me long at all to finally catch up to her and pass her like she was standing still… because she was.  She’d stopped at a red light to go straight and I barely yielded as I cruised by her to turn right.

Yeah, baby.  How do you like them apples?!  Eat my dust!!!

That grand finale kept me smiling all the way home!

OVERCOME LAZY!